Since leaving the presidency in 2017, Barack Obama has openly discussed the impact his time in office had on his marriage to Michelle Obama. In a recent discussion with Hamilton College President Steven Tepper on April 5, Obama admitted he accumulated a “deep deficit” with his wife during his tenure as president.
“I have been trying to dig myself out of that hole by doing occasionally fun things,” the former president noted, emphasizing the ongoing effort needed to sustain their 32-year marriage.
Married since 1992, the Obamas navigated unique challenges in balancing family life with the demands of the presidency. When Barack Obama won the 2008 election, their daughters, Malia and Sasha, were just 10 and seven years old, respectively, when they moved to the White House.
Michelle Obama has also been open about the difficulties in their relationship. In a past interview with Revolt TV, she stated, “People think I’m being catty by saying this — it’s like, there were 10 years where I couldn’t stand my husband. And guess when it happened? When those kids were little.”
This level of transparency from a former first couple has resonated with many Americans who face their own relationship challenges. The Obamas have consistently stressed that marriage requires ongoing effort, particularly during periods of imbalance or stress.
Michelle Obama has previously mentioned how their relationship wasn’t always “even,” as she took on more childcare responsibilities while Barack pursued his political career. Despite these imbalances, both have emphasized the importance of commitment through challenging times.
In a 2024 appearance on “The Pivot Podcast,” Barack Obama credited his wife for helping him manage the pressures of his presidency. He praised her as an extraordinary woman and a supportive partner, acknowledging that the thought of disappointing his children was unbearable.
Their openness about marital struggles arises amidst persistent, unfounded rumors of potential issues. However, they have consistently shown their commitment through public displays of affection and mutual respect.
This Valentine’s Day, Barack Obama shared a heartfelt selfie with Michelle on social media, captioning it: “Thirty-two years together and you still take my breath away. Happy Valentine’s Day, @MichelleObama!”
Sources close to the Obamas suggest that they do not portray their relationship as “magical,” but as a genuine partnership requiring work. Michelle has reportedly shown little interest in attending Washington, D.C. events with Barack, focusing instead on their personal projects post-presidency.
The Obamas have built a post-presidential life that includes various projects through their Obama Foundation and the development of the Obama Presidential Center in Chicago, Illinois. They remained in Washington, D.C. until their younger daughter Sasha completed high school, with Malia later attending Harvard University.
Barack Obama’s acknowledgment of his “deficit” and efforts to address it reflect the couple’s commitment to continuous growth and adaptation in their relationship. For many Americans, the Obamas’ willingness to discuss relationship challenges humanizes a couple that often appeared picture-perfect during their White House years.
Michelle Obama has previously mentioned that the couple sought marriage counseling to navigate difficult periods, further normalizing the idea that even strong marriages can benefit from professional support during challenging times.
As the Obamas continue into their fourth decade together, their relationship evolves. Their willingness to publicly acknowledge the difficulties they’ve faced while maintaining their commitment offers a realistic view of long-term partnership, resonating with many Americans navigating their own relationship journeys.
The former first couple’s transparency about their marriage contrasts with the often idealized public images of political figures. By acknowledging that even presidential love stories involve challenges, the Obamas have contributed to a more authentic conversation about the work needed to sustain long-term relationships.
As they move further from their White House years, the Obamas continue to balance their individual pursuits with their shared commitment to each other and their family, demonstrating that marriage—like hope and change—requires continuous effort and renewal.
